I.N.S. Alien Profile / Case #889343-B
Subject: Donald R. De Cicco
Status: Illegal Alien
Distinguishing Features: Conical-shaped head, bald.
Residence: Patterson, New Jersey
Occupation: Appliance Repairman, Taxi Driver, Driving Instructor
Mid Atlantic District Office Report. Mr. Conehead first turned up in Patterson, N.J. employed as an appliance repairman. Before Agent Gorman Seedling could apprehend him, the Conehead subject switched occupations and disappeared from his mobile home. After the lab analyzed mysterious fabric strands and toasted junk mail found in the Conehead trailer, a theory has been advance: that the Conehead subject and spouse may be illegal aliens from another planet. Agent Turnbull has suggested turning the case over to the U.S. Air Force. Agent Seedling recommends I.N.S. expenditure of a quarter million dollars to apprehend subject. File is currently flagged at all Red Levels. Proceed with extreme caution. Subject last seen with spouse inside local grocery store, purchasing mass quantities of waffles and light bulbs for consumption.