Brain: Honed to a tiny nub by a steady diet of video games, daytime TV, and internet browsing.
Brow: Low
Skin: Chalky
Jacket: Sassy yet stylish
Ass: Pert 'n' perky
Wallet: Contents: 1 losing lottery ticket, 1 used toothpick, $1.29 worth of food stamps, and an emergency packet of pickle relish
Abdomen: Also known as: "Flesh Mountain," "Spongy the Wonder Gut," "Son of Flabber," "Poppin Fresh," "Squeezably Soft," "The Love Handle," "Ol' Growler," "Ol' Gasbag," "Ol' Gasser," or "The Boweling Alley"
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